I ordered Thai food tonight because frankly there is no good Chinese food in Los Angeles.
How can that be?? No good Chinese Food??
I'm 2,000 miles *closer* to China than I was in New York City. And yet, "New York Chinese" is far superior than "LA Chinese". It's frustrating really. What I wouldn't give for the Chicken w/ Broccoli from Grand Szechuan around the corner from my 34st apartment. (sigh) That place was the best, Jerry. The best.
See, I didn't expect to find decent Italian or pizza (I haven't, there isn't)*. But I really *did* think that any and all Asian would represent.
I was wrong.
The Viatnamese chow is good here. But I wasn't Pheeling the Pho, so I went with Thai tonight.
The delivery man arrives, The check is $14.50, I lay a $20 on him and tell him to keep it. Yeah, I'm a good tipper like that: (I'm a former service industry slave).
He smiles and NODS "thank you."
He nods. Make sure you get that. He NODS.
I smile and BOW "you're welcome."
I freakin' *BOWED* at this man.
It sorta... just... happened.
I'm such an idiot.
Why do I do that? (This is not an isolated incident)
As I bowed, I could hear that Chinese Gonnnnnnnnnng in the back of my mind. (Or maybe it was a Gong Show gong. Not sure.)
What am I doing? Why am I bowing to this stranger? We are not about to engage in Mortal Kombat: flying tree top to roof top locked in some battle of good versus delivery.
I'm not this man's grasshoppa. He is not my Mr. Miyagi.
But he's a nice, polite Asian gentleman. So what does he do? Naturally, he bows back.
So, completely mortified that I may offend him *further*, I bow in return.
And then he bows. Again. So here we are, in my doorway: he with a fistfull of cash, me with a fistfull of noodles: bowing, bowing, bowing at each other.
And I feel like an moron.
(But the noodles were great.)
I just hope, for my own sake, that they send a white guy next time. Then we can high-five or throw each other the goat or pound fists or do whatever-the-hell it is that we weiße Völker do. Anything. ANYTHING to keep me from making cross-culture ass out of myself yet again.
Or maybe I can just order Mexican.
* Before you tell me where the good LA Italian food is, please identify yourself as being BORN in New York or Chicago. Anyone else: With respect and gratitude, please move along as you know not of what you speak.I can test you on this.