It’s been about, oh, three weeks so I figured it was time for a haircut. Actually… that’s not true. I didn’t figure anything. When people start asking me why I’m wearing a brown hair-helmet, I know it’s time.
Don’t smirk. Most guys are like this.
And as for hairstyle: we will wear it *one* way *forever*: until we date someone who makes us change it. Then it stays *that* way *forever*: until we break up. And thus, the cycle.
So, fellas, if you’ve been dating the same girl for 10 years, you might still have that awful mushroom haircut that she thought was *sooooo* cute. If you do, it’s time to dump her and get a new coif.
Today I spotted a couple of guys who are obviously in long-term, committed relationships. I know this because they were sporting the “Luke Skywalker” and the “Richard Marx”, respectively.
Some women are also guilty of frozen-in-time-fashion. But I think gals try to capture that time in their lives where they felt they looked their best. My stand-up comic friend, JS, wears the same basic ensemble *all* the time. She is reasonably attractive, in her 40s and intelligent. JS will only be seen wearing the following outfit:
- Hair: Big, bulky and high. Bangs: check. Aquanet: about 6 inches.
- Always hasOversized Champion sweatshirt. Sometimes worn inside out. Hangs below her ample hips.
- Painted-on, skin-tight jeans, tapered to the ankle. They are extra faded, light acid washed. Sometimes she wears the “half and half”: blue acid washed front, black acid washed back. Like a pants version Victor-Victoria.
- Shoes are always white Keds
- Oversized bulky socks (which consistently match her sweatshirt), pulled up and OVER the jeans.
What’s your guess? 1988? 89?
What’s interesting is that these styles still take *effort* to create. These people don’t just wake up and go. They take the time to layer their hair perfectly like Markie Post from Night Court or to get that Fonzarelli pompadour.
I’m not saying that everyone should wear the latest trendy hairstyle. (I sure don't) But I think a 4-5 year window is reasonable. If you are still trimming your beard and mullet to match that picture of Kenny Loggins… you, my friend, are on the Higway to the Danger Zone.