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October 26, 2005



That's fabulous. You'd hate grocery shopping with me - I am a total stacker - and in fact, pride myself on taking up as little space on the conveyor belt as possible. Frozens are stacked first, followed by non-perishables, then meat, then fruit/veggies. I like to leave the fruit & veggies for last so that the person behind me thinks, "my, she's healthy!" (and no, I'm sure this doesn't work)


I am sooo totally about the proper loading of the conveyor belt. I load the items the way I would like them bagged together. Do the items actually make it into the bags in that order? Rarely. I still hope for the best Every. Single. Time. (Call me the eternal optimist.) I also choose plastic, but I reuse the bags in my waste baskets. What really burns my biscuits is when the bagger gives me twice as many bags as are truly necessary. Make those bags a little heavy! That means fewer trips in and out of the house!
Who knew grocery shopping could be so annoying?


I stack, I put frozen stuff with everything else, the only thing carefully placed is bread and eggs, everything is touching and nary a right angle to be found

The people in line that piss me off the most are the check-writers who wait until EVERYTHING is scanned and they get a total to even get out their checkbook. Hello??? you *know* you're going to write a check, you can finish 3/4 of it while the checkerperson is scanning your crap WTF?!?

always write

You know, I find the plastic divider a bit off-putting; To me it's just another symbol of the territorialism that's eroding our societal decency. Can't we all just get along? Leave enough room on the conveyor belt so the checkout lady can see with a glance where my food ends and yours begins? Come on, people, where's the love?

But all warmth and fuzzies aside, I still believe the check writers should be rounded up and shot at dawn. There's just no excuse for it.


um, yeah...that was me smiling. but i'll have you know, i wasn't smiling at you. it was actually brad pitt with his shopping cart walking behind you.


Sandra-- That is unacceptable. I would have to be in charge of placing our items. I would send you off on some mission to fetch ice cream or something.

Ambeart-- I like your style.

Heather-- You should have kicked that person in the crotch. It would have been completely justified

AW-- In Beverly Hills, you NEED the divider. Otherwise people will pile their crap on top of yours because their items are OOHHHHH SOOOO important.

Meme-- Does Brad shop at that Ralph's, too? Huh.


you bastard. you forgot the formula and the babies are hungry. is it because it doesn't have an appropriate place in your conveyor belt neuroses? or because you're too busy pretending not to make eyes at miss corn-on-the-cob?


My husband told me to tell you this: They put the produce toward the front because it doesn't last as long and people will want to buy it if they see it.... He's full of useless knowledge and some useful stuff too! So....Now you know....the rest of the story...(thanks Paul Harvey!)

Mister Groonk

You dissed your single serving friend.

You got bird flu. DON'T deny it.

Bud Light and wine? wtf? That's like owning a Pinto AND a Ferrari.


I follow one rule: If I see someone taking out a bunch of coupons at the checkout line, I go to another one.

OC Girl

I do not grocery shop often... however the guy in line behind you probably was yelled at by me when he returned to the car with so few items and taking so long.

I, however, always:

Get paper in plastic (I can carry it up my stairs better).

Go to the oldest woman checker-outer (I read it in some random book that she had probably been doing it the longest… and was thus the quickest.. sans you in line).

Always end up behind YOU in line, the OCD that can’t help an OCG out being a *little* quicker in life…I mean line…

And I am always the one who chooses “smile”… I feel that I have nothing to lose with mere smile.

Happy shopping...

Jennifer Lankenau

I am never going to Costco with you.



You should always smile. Who cares if they don't smile back. You aren't the idiot. The insecure person who can't take 2 seconds to smile back back is ;)

I too, am grossed out by people who stick their fingers in thier ear. It's as bad as picking your nose in my book.

As far as the guy who was not bearing with you... tell him that is what shopping carts are for. I bet most women shoppers bear with you because you are cute and funny.


AJ, she was so flirting with you!...



There's an "incontinence" aisle?

I wrote something like this myself yesterday, and even though the subject matter was completely different, I'm still going to accuse you of being a copier.


I bag my own groceries ANY which way just to get the hell out of there! Detergent with produce, eggs on the bottom ... I don't care. I can't stand shopping of any kind. The bagpeople love me! I'll give them a tip just to get out of my way.
Besides, my beer is getting warmer by the minute.

OC girl

nic - I like the way you think...



Marry me. I thought I was the only anal retentive about the conveyor belt. Grocery shopping is a ritual for me. Sunday mornings when all the pain in the butt church people are not there and the mommies are usually still at home feeding their screaming babies. Sunday morning is quiet and the folks are either polite or silent due to the headache left over from their hangover.

As an aside, I hate the guy wrangling the shopping carts in the parking lot. DO NOT pretend it's a ride at Magic Mountain. You hit my car and I'm whipping your candy ass.


Wow, I feel less neurotic every time I've visited of late. Thanks! Well except that the divider bars always look so grungy and I'd rather not touch them. Actually some grocery stores here have put purell and paper towels next to the carts so you can wipe off the handles before you grab one. Pretty cool.

As for random people encounters, I usually just give back what I get; so next time don't feel like an idiot, smile back.


We've all seen it: The conveyor belt has the leftover crust of some previous spill. And your order is large enough that there's no way to avoid the crustiness.

AJ, I have to know: How do *you* handle that situation?

Just askin'.


Hey sweetie!
Are you the voiceover on the Jetix ads? I keep hearing that voice in my sleep. Cartoon Disney plays non-stop here. Love ya baby! (somebody) --J


On my last flight from California to New York... The in-flight movie was "Sideways" - I even paid $5 for it- I felt robbed... Worst Flight Ever. If you ever see Paul Giamatti get my money back.


finally! someone else who likes artichokes......

and i'm the friendly sort- 9 times out of 10, i'll smile as i pass someone in the grocery store. (the exception being if they have far too many cans of spam in their cart, because that's just....weird)


Hey AJ!
As a produce guru *cough cough*.. I can tell you that the reason that the produce department is the first you walk into is because it is one of the most astheticly pleasing departments in a store. The stores I work for are bookended with produce as the main walk in, and floral as that last thing to walk through. Yeah.. I've been in the grocery biz WAAAYYY too long.

Also... Bud Light!!!! ICK!
Of corse that's the Milwaukee in me. :)
Julie in Milwaukee!


i'm there with you aj... from the do i smile or ignore to how things are laid out on the belt... my current gig has everyone take the disc test when they start... i ended up a high i, high c...

the high c is where the ocd comes in... funny how you know you do little things like stacking papers in neat perfectly perpendicular stacks, turning all the labels in the pantry to face front or only being able to adjust the volume on the tv in even increments (by 5's is ok too)... where this gets to be a problem is when you're watching a movie or tv show and you pay more attention to the inconsistent rising and falling levels of a glass of water than the story because the scene has been poorly cut with different takes... ahhh..!

i'm no monk (anyone who has walked in my apt can vouch for that), but i have to inflict some kind of order in the universe... so, i'll still wash my hands before and after i eat at a restaurant even if i know the cook just scratched his ass...

oh, and if i had to guess, i would say you're probably a high d, high c... keep up the great work bro... ;)

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