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October 10, 2005


Special Sauce

As a short frumpy girl, let me say that we'd LIKE to play the accordion, but our boobs get in the way.
Lady of Spain and a DD cup just don't mix.

Maybe that's her problem with the drums? You simply can't play Wipeout when your funbags keep hitting the cymbals at the wrong times...


10 points for use of "Fun Bags". :-)


Where the heck do you live! It sounds like the circus came to town and set up shop in your front door...as for the last annoyance(the drumming major)at least you can't hear the squirrel anymore...


Oh AJ, I'm so sorry.

You see, the previous commenter "Dora" is my sister, and she found you.

Run, friend. Run.

Ok, she's not that bad.

The thing is, when she was a kid, she wanted a drum set.

Instead, I arrived.

That in and of itself is a rimshot.


My brother has a drummer living in his apartment building as well. The first time I heard him, I thought someone had fallen down the stairs while moving in furniture. Except it didn't stop.

I love my quiet apartment.


Dora-- Oh, I still hear the squirrel. He sounds better than the drumming.

Dariush-- Ba-dum-dum ... crash!

Kallisti-- I am very, VERY jealous of your apartment. Got a couch?


Hey now, hey now, hey now - there are lots of short, stocky, frumpy women who have amazing rhythm, plus they have the benefit of a lower center of gravity that helps them keep their balance. I suggest that the poor drumming has more to do with bad hair dye seeping into her brain from the new 'do. (I'm with Special Sauce about the boobage getting in the way of so many things. BTW, a friend of mine told me about this book he read on gypsy culture a few years back - the writer talked about one tribe where the women went about topless all the time, with their boobly-ooblies just hanging down, drifting and getting well-tanned. He described the not-so-bodacious ta-tas as "triangular yamlike flaps" - a phrase that has stayed with me.)

But I digress...

Keep up those comments about the short, stocky, frumpy chicks, AJ, and I may have to take you off my list of people to invite to Uzbekistan for "Short Stocky Frumpy Women Dance to Bad Central Asian Music Night" - and lord knows, you wouldn't want to miss that. Hottest ticket in West Hollywood.

Truly, though - I feel your pain. I loves mah quiet.


You really want her to switch to euphonium? I think that'd be a mistake unless you're looking for an LA Story type of moment...but really after you'd had it once, I bet it'd get just as old as the drums.

I had an opera singer neighbor once...mostly just scales, but at least she was good. Stompers, cable cars, and jackhammers have proved more distressing than musicians for me.

does your complex or nbhd have any noise ordinances?


You only think its the dumpy girl! The squirrel has found a way into her apartment and it running around the apartment - the drums are being hit by his enormous testicles as he jumps over them to grab a pawful of dumpy girl cookie crumbs!


God, that sounds painful. My neighbors scream at each other in Spanish, but at least I'm picking up some swear words I don't know...your experience doesn't sound even moderately educational.

Mister Groonk

John Stamos was in a Beach Boy song?

Where have I been?

That's what you get for giving her chicken. Bird can do strange things to a psyche.

Record Lady Frumpiness and let us hear her trash-can sound.


A friend has just gone on holiday when she gets backs she says she plans to buy some drums. Weirdly she's not the short, stocky, frumpy type who are always the drummers in lesbian punk bands.

Drums will news to girl's neighbours as she lives in a top floor apartment with hardwood floors. I'm really hoping she doesn't doesn't go mad with the hair.


All I 've got to say "I feel your pain dude" Growing up we had neighbors who had what they termed a "band". The only thing is this: They sucked! They sucked so bad that my parents actually were on their way to crazy! How do people justify banging on drums in an apartment? I would think that wouldn't be ok with the higher ups. Hmmm.... I shall try to think of an "evil plot" for you but by the sounds of your ideas you have your bases covered!

Oh and by the way, I like the way Nihilistric Propensity and Just a girl got linked...whatever.... I sent them your way and you left me out! what up wit dat? hee hee


I would just like to offer my opinion that Frumpy Sex is rarely as bad as you think it's going to be. Not great, but you have to admit that even when sex is really bad . . . it's still pretty good.


I have a feeling my sarcasm was lost on a few dear readers...


I was mildly shocked when I read your comments about frumpy girls - however the picture of John Stamos calmed me down.

I have neighbors who allowed their children to set up drums in the garage - it only took 3 years for them to start playing well. I hope for your sanity, it does not take her that long!

I agree with Special Sauce - we are unable to play the accordian because of our fun bags. They would be smashed and that would not be good


did i ever mention that i play the flute?

ms. sizzle

drums are pretty obnoxious when played badly, and even when played well, they can get on ones nerves. i feel your pain. you can move into my place and listen to the lesbians have shower sex instead. does that cheer you up?


Ms. Sizzle-- You always know how to say the right thing!

Meme-- No, you never mentioned it, but this was assumed.

always write

You know, AJ, maybe if the poor girl didn't have people talking smack about her frumpy ass all over the Internet she wouldn't have lashed out with a wild 'n crazy hobby in the first place. It serves you right ;)

But I'm not totally unsympathetic: Since the semester started my AU student neighbors have been rockin' out to Shakira and Kelly Clarkson at earth-shaking volume, every. single. night. God, I hate Top 40.


Baby, I've got so much rhythm, there's no room left for the blues.

You obviously need to spend some time with a short stocky girl who can mambo.


I have bad news for you...the only way to get her to stop might be to start dating her.
Are you willing to make that sacrifice in the name of peace and quiet?!


Tamara, I don't know. (sigh) I suppose. I have taken one for the team in the past.

But which is more annoying? Her drumming, or my cellphone ringing constantly?



Remember you can always turn your cellphone to vibrate mode, which is kind of pleasant in the right situation. Drumming, notsomuch. AJ - Taking One For the Team Gentile.


You might be on to something, Tamara. She's waddling to and fro the laundry room now. :cracks knuckles: Here I go.......

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